Nozomi
by Gein
Summary: Lan has a nightmare and receives comfort and subtle rejection from Gingetsu. Slight fluff, some angst. ^^;; PLEASE R&R!


Greetings, ye merryen! *medeival music plays* Okay, finally. =D R&R!!   
  
Nozomi  
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~  
  
Lan whipped his head around as he heard a creak. "Gingetsu?" he   
asked, but there was no answer. Lan walked down the hall quietly,   
afraid to make a noise. The empty hall seemed to close in on the   
Three Leaf and the door at the end was getting more and more distant   
with each step he took. It all vanished suddenly, leaving Lan in a   
white, sterile room.  
  
A part of the Three Leaf knew something wasn't right when he   
didn't hear a sound anywhere. The empty room had no windows or   
doors. Lan spun around as a soft thump echoed behind him. He gasped   
as he saw Kazuhiko lying on the ground, a thin line running from his   
chest to his abdomen. "Kazuhiko!" Lan cried, kneeling beside him.   
Tears filled his eyes as blood rushed steadily from the line, pooling   
on the white floor. "Kazuhiko..." he whispered, reaching for his   
hand.  
  
As soon as he touched Kazuhiko, the scene changed. He was   
facing a door, the door that led to Gingetsu's room. Lan quickly   
opened the door and was face-to-face with Gingetsu. "Run," Gingetsu   
said through clenched teeth. Lan looked over the Two Leaf's shoulder   
and saw onlt the familiar surroundings of Gigetsu's bedroom. But the   
sight of blood droplets on the floor made his heart speed up.  
  
Lan placed a hand gently on Gingetsu's back, and it came back   
blood-covered. A long silence passed between them before Gingetsu   
placed his hands on Lan's shoulders. "Just run," he said quietly,   
but firmly.  
  
Lan shook is head, trying to make out the Two Leaf's face in   
the darkness. "Dammit, Lan. Run," Gingetsu said, trying to keep the   
urgency out of his voice. "Ginge-" the Three Leaf stopped short as a   
blade impaled the older man through the chest, blood gushing as the   
blade was yanked back out.  
  
Gingetsu fell against Lan, clearly   
dead. "Ginge...tsu...Gingetsu!" Lan screamed and held on to the Two   
Leaf desperately. "Gingetsu...Gingetsu..." Lan managed, and shook   
him, but Gingetsu just fell back against him. A sillhouette slowly   
waked toward them. Lan noticed as Gingetsu was suddenly pried from   
his arms and thrown with brutal force into the nearest wall. Lan   
could only stare, his body feeling like lead.  
  
The sillhouette bent down in front of him, and two familiar   
eyes glared at him. "He's dead because you loved him. You loved him   
more than me. I told you I'd kill anyone who you loved more than me,   
and it's your fault that they're dead...that he's dead."  
  
Lan's eyes widened as the reflection of his former self   
smiled, raising the bloody sword again to stab Gingetsu's   
abdomen. "You love only me, C," A whispered, and the knife plunged   
with a sickening tear.  
  
Lan bolted up in bed, breathing hard. He buried his face in   
his hands, small shivers overcoming him. Lan wiped the beading sweat   
from his forehead, tears forming in his   
eyes. 'Kazuhiko...Gingetsu...' Gingetsu. Lan shakily tossed the   
covers aside, casting a wary glance around the room. After a long   
moment he got up, igonoring the dizziness. a nauseated feeling swept   
over him as he remembered the blood, kazuhiko and Gingetsu...A. And   
What A had said.  
  
Lan blinked back tears, shivering again for no apparent   
reason. 'My fault...' the words taunted relentlessly in his head.   
The room seemed to get hotter, and Lan felt as though he couldn't   
breathe. He felt so scared...'Gingetsu...' Lan bit his lip, and   
without thinking opened his door and stepped into the hall.  
  
Taking careful, quiet steps, Lan finally made it to   
Gingetsu's door. He leaned against it, wrapping his arms around   
himself. His heart was still racing and bits of the dream were still   
lingering. It felt so real: Gingetsu against him, Kazuhiko's blood,   
and A...the same dangerous gleam in his eyes.  
  
Lan held himelf tighter, staring down the hall. Whispers   
coming from every where at once, creaks, and the feeling of a   
presence standing right beside him. Lan slumped to the floor,   
bringing his knees to his chest. His eyes darted around the hall,   
and somewhere in the house, something slammed.  
  
Berating himself for being so childish, Lan shakily opened   
the door to Gingetsu's room. A feeling of reief washed over him as   
he saw Gingetsu shift position in sleep, but the anxious feeling was   
still there. 'Gingetsu...' he pleaded in his mind. Lan slowly shut   
the door, staring helplessy at the sleeping figure.  
  
'What are you going to do? Wake him up and say you had a   
dream about him dying and you wanna sleep with him to make sure he   
stays alive?' Lan giggled, but it came out more like a quiet sob.   
Lan ran a hand through his hair, exhaling slowly. He carefully   
walked to the side of Gingetsu's bed, looking uncomfortably at the   
sleeping form. "Gingetsu..." Lan whispered, and when the lieutenant   
colonel didn't respond, he sat down on the floor, leaning against the   
wall.  
  
More noises and creaks came from around the room, and Lan   
found himself scooting closer to the warm bed. The sound of falling   
rain met Lan's ears and calmed him somewhat. He sat still for a   
while and closed his eyes, listening to the soft sound of the rain   
and Gingetsu's slight breathing, something that sounded more or less   
like snoring. 'Gingetsu...' A nervous shiver come over him. What if   
the dream was prophesizing something?  
  
Lan stood up, walking toward the window. Dim lights   
glittered in the city below, but the rain on the glass made it hazy.   
It was suddenly cold, like an unseen wind blowing from all directions   
at once. Lan closed his eyes, trying to forget the nightmare.  
  
A strong hand rested on Lan's shoulder and the Three Leaf   
spun around. He immediately blushed as he realized it was Gingetsu,   
standing in a long-sleeved shirt and jeans. "What is it?" he asked   
quietly, a look of slight concern on his features. Lan felt tears   
well up in his eyes as he opened his mouth to speak and quickly   
closed it, forcing a small smile.  
  
It suddenly occured to Lan that Gingetsu's visor was off. In   
the dark he could see grey-green looking down at him. "I-I...I'm   
really sorry that I came in here...and woke you up. Sorry..." Lan   
managed, and tore his gaze away. Gingetsu placed both of his hands   
on the Three Leaf's sloping shoulders, staring hard at him. "Can't   
sleep? Do you not feel well?" he asked, a hint of urgency in his   
voice. Lan had to bit back more tears as he managed to look at   
Gingetsu, shaking his head slightly.  
  
"No...I...I just..." Lan stammered. "I...I'm sorry...you   
don't have to worry..." he said, bowing quickly. Gingetsu still   
looked down hard, a small frown on his face. 'He does notice I'm   
upset...' the Three Leaf realized, and more tears filled his eyes as   
he continued looking at the Two Leaf. 'It's all my fault...that he's   
in danger, and yet...he's still worried. It's my fault that he's   
having to take care of me...and he's in danger because I love...'  
  
"Gingetsu..." Lan whimpered, and his tears fell. "I-I..."   
Lan choked back sobs, and turned away. "I'm so sorry. I'll go..."   
Lan started to leave, but was pulled back into the Two Leaf's chest.   
Lan quickly brushed away tears, looking back at Gingetsu. "Don't   
go." Lan gasped as the older man softly held him close, comforting   
him with his warmth.  
  
It felt so perfect, so safe. Lan clutched the cloth of   
Gingetsu's shirt, trying to hold back tears. The Two Leaf held Lan   
tighter, stroking his hair gently. "Lan...What's wrong?" he asked,   
almost whispered. The Thee Leaf sighed shakily, trying to block out   
the memories. "No-nothing...I'm sorry...it was just...a bad dream.   
I got scared and...sorry."  
  
Gingetsu shook his head, trying to his best to show Lan that   
it was okay. "Stop saying you're sorry. I understand why you're   
scared. There's no reason to be sorry." Lan nodded shakily, knowing   
that if he tried to speak it would only be sobbing.  
  
"It was A, wasn't it?" Gingetsu asked softly. Lan was   
surprised for amoment, then nodded slightly again. Gingetsu knew Lan   
didn't want to say exactly what it was about, so just held him   
silently. Lan leaned his head against the lieutenant colonel's hard   
chest, listening to the steady, reassuring heartbeat. He felt guilty   
for making Gingetsu have to comfort him in the middle of the night.   
he sighed shakily and reluctantly pulled away. "Thank you," he   
laughed quietly, wiping away the remainder of his tears. "You'd   
think I'd be more mature at this age. I shouldn't be afraid of my   
dreams, I know..."  
  
Gingetsu looked down indifferently for a moment. Lan might   
have looked around 20-22, but in his mind he was still young-only   
about 10-13. "You won't be able to sleep again," he stated. Lan   
looked down. "I guess not," he murmured. Without a word, Gingetsu   
pulled the silk sheet off the bed and wrapped it around the Three   
Leaf. Lan looked confusedly at Gigetsu who ignored the expression   
and pulled him into his lap and embrace.  
  
Lan blushed, squirming uncomfortably against   
Gingetsu. "Relax," Gingetsu said flatly, and leaned against the   
headboard, holding Lan against him securely. The slightly younger   
man hesitantly rested his head against the lieutenant colonel's broad   
shoulder. "I'm sorry you have to trouble yourself like this," Lan   
whispered, feeling useless and annoying to Gingetsu. "I don't mind,"   
the Two Leaf said quietly. "You don't ?" Lan asked with a note of   
surprise. "I promised I'd take care of you. Isn't this also   
considered 'caring for'?" he asked softly.  
  
Hopeful, bubbling joy filled Lan and all he could do was   
manage a weak "thank you". Before he knew what he was doing, Lan   
wrapped his arms around the lieutenant colonel's neck and leaned into   
his warmth. Gingetsu, a few moments later, wrapped his arms firmly   
around the slim waist and pressed the small body securely against   
his. Lan blushed, ignoring the nervous urge to giggle.  
  
Gingetsu remained indefferent, however, and closed his eyes.   
The silk sheet fell off Lan's shoulders and pooled around them, but   
there was no need for it. Lan shifted slightly and blushed as their   
fingers brushed softly. There was a pang in his heart suddenly, and   
Lan couldn't help but feel a little frightened by the continuing   
stabbing in his chest. Lonliness? Longing? He didn't know. "I-I   
think...I can sleep now..." Lan stammered, smiling embarrassedly.  
  
"Do you want to go back?" Gingetsu asked. "Well, you...have   
work tomorrow and-and I don't want to keep you up, and this is your   
bed, and you're probably tired...and I'm okay now..." Lan stammered,   
blushing. "I-I've troubled you too much, and I should let you have   
your bed to yourself..." Gingetsu said nothing, but nodded. Lan   
smiled weakly and got up. It was like suddenly a wall was put up   
between them, keeping them away from each other. "Thank you so   
much. I'll see you tomorrow sometime." "Hn," Gingetsu replied and   
Lan closed the door.  
  
Again, the Three Leaf leaned against the door, an inaudible   
sigh escaping him. 'I didn't want to leave...' he admitted   
silently. The coldness washed over him again, and he sat down   
against the door, staring down the dark hallway. No more warmth   
inside of him. The pangs in his heart made him wince. There wasn't   
anything wrong with him; Lan knew that. It was love, hope, sincere   
need for the older man. But the small hope that maybe the Two Leaf   
felt the same was gone. "Does he care for me...because it's his   
duty?" he asked himself, but then buried his face in his   
hands. 'Don't think about it. Just try to got to sleep.' Lan   
berated himself, and shakily stood up. Again, memories of the dream   
came back to him.  
  
The Three Leaf wrapped his arms around himself as he slowly   
walked down the hall. It was so quiet, uncomfortably dark, and Lan   
couldn't help but shiver. He entered his room again, and reluctantly   
pulled the covers over himself. They were the same type as   
Gingetsu's: silky, slightly cool, and comfortable, but there was an   
emptiness there. There was no real warmth, no comfort and protection   
he got from Gingetsu. Lan pulled the covers higher on himself,   
hoping to fill some of the emptiness, but there was nothing that felt   
even vaguely how it felt in Gigetsu's arms. Lan closed his eyes as   
tears began to fill them. 'I do cry too easily,' he said to himself.  
  
Gingetsu didn't love him. Of course. But still...there was   
something about the way their fingers brushed that made him   
consider. The stabbing pain was leaving. The hope was gone. 'Leave   
it alone. It wouldn't work out.' Lan reluctantly said silently. He   
opened his eyes again, only to find they were hazy with tears. But   
he could still see the rain, now just dripping steadily; small globes   
of water suspened on the frame momentarily.  
  
'I don't have much time left, either,' Lan admitted quietly.   
He buried his face in the pillow, as if in wait, expecting his heart   
to stop at any moment. 'But I'll be happy for you...' the Three Leaf   
promised. 'While I wait.' He closed his eyes and drifted off. The   
pangs were gone...all hope gone. But Lan forced a small smile,   
hoping that somehow, Gingetsu would see it and know. 'I can be   
happy...if you're here.'   
OWARI.   
*breaks out the champagne* *wild eyes into the screen* Of course Gingetsu loves you, Lan! How dense can you be!? *hits Lan* *gets attacked by Lan fans* You know when Gingetsu's like, "Do you want to stay?" I /was/ gonna make it so that after Lan was making all those excuses and stuff Gingetsu would be like, "But do you /want/ to stay?" And Lan would smile shyly and blush like the precious thing he was (XD) and say. "Yeah..." and then it would be a lemon. But! *scary-eyes into the screen* If it was lemon it would end weird and cliche-y and I need, like, all my fics to be angst! I know you guys probably all want a lemon, and so do I, but it would end stupidly, i assure you. ._. Sorry. I don't really like how it turned out...don't you guys feel sad when I get all depressed and guitly?! XP Kidding, kidding. Please review?? For Gein?? ^ 


End file.
